[robinsonk]

My parents were divorced 18 years ago. My step-mother and my father raised me (and are paying for the wedding), although my mother still had visitation rights and I still see her regularly. I would like to have the lighting of the unity candle as part of my ceremony, but I'm not quite sure how to go about it. Obviously, I will have the groom's parents light one candle, and my father and step-mother (whom I call Mom) light the other, but how do I incorporate my biological mother into the situation?

[RevSusanna]

Here is another idea and it is traditional: You can have just the mothers light the side candles, with both your biological and step mother jointly lighting one of the side candles. They can use those extra long kitchen matches. Or they can use very small lighter candles. Then you can have three single roses on the table which you can present to them with a hug and kiss before they go back to their seats. Then you and your intended would jointly light the unity candle.

You can have the groom's father involved in another way. For example, he can do a reading, or both fathers can jointly give a blessing.

Where there is love, there is a way....