[jamiec_87]

My reception site can hold the maximum of exactly 200people. The church can hold 300, but I know it is inappropriate to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception. If I have a "have to invite" list and a "back up list" can I send out the "must have" invitations about 225, and see how many people rsvp and then when I find out that there are only ..say... 130 coming..I could send out the back up invitations. That way I can have a full reception site and ceremony.. In order to do this for a march wedding.. I would need to send out the must have invitations the first of January and then send out the back up invitations for the next 6weeks as I find out who cannot come. I know that this sounds really mean, but I want my wedding and reception filled.. If I had all the space I would invite EVERYONE (appro 320) but I can't.. I don't want to invite all 320 and then 280 rsvp and I can only fit 200. And I know that I can't invite 200, because there will be some that don't come.. the reception site can only hold 200maximum, and I want to get as close to that number as I can. Is it okay to send out the back up invitations as I receive word that people can't come.. and do this up until 4weeks of the wedding? (so no invitation would be receieved less than a month in advance of the wedding day)

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Jamiec,

Sending invitations out so late will be insulting to your guests. They will know that they are on the 'B' list. So, send your 'A' list invitations out two months before your wedding and the 'B' list eight weeks before. Set your RSVP time very tight.

Please note that many won't RSVP and some may attend even without replying. Some may even bring others who were not invited. So, you may end up with more than you can seat.

Be very careful with your invitations.

Best wishes,