[Lutheranchick]

My fiance gave me an incredible three stone (past, present, future) ring as an engagement ring. It's substantial; the center stone is a round, 3/4 carat natural yellow diamond flanked by two round diamonds, 3/8 of a carat each. The ring is white gold and but the center stone is mounted in yellow gold to enhance the diamond's color. I joke that I have farm girl hands---my fingers are short and stubby and my hands are fairly broad---so delicate or fussy rings don't look good on me.

My question is: my jeweler told me that it's becoming a trend to wear only one ring, generally the engagement ring, and that it's not necessary to have a wedding band especially if the engagement ring is elaborate. I don't want to make the mistake of guilding the lily or of taking away from the beauty of this ring but I want to make sure I do what's considered to be "right". My fiance's band, which I have already purchased, is white gold with seven channel-set diamonds. He wants our rings to match and, while not identical, his band and my ring go well together. I'm just concerned that adding a wedding band to the three-stone ring might be too much for my finger and that it might be too much "bling" for me to handle. I was considering a channel-set band with a small indentation that would accomodate the center diamond of my engagement ring but I'm not sure about how I'd like the look in the long run. It seems a little fussy to me.

BTW, we are in our mid-forties and this is a second marriage for both of us. Ironically, my first husband did not get me an engagement ring and my fiance's first wife did not want one. In that respect, we're both newbies at this.

Thanks much!

B

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Lutheranchick,

I'm not sure about the 'one ring' trend, except that more women seem to be wearing a combination engagement/wedding ring. But, the engagement ring is the optional ring. The wedding ring is 'the' ring. So, you could use your engagement ring as a wedding ring if you wish. You shouldn't wear it until the wedding though. That may be a good choice for you.

Best wishes,

[Lutheranchick]

I went to the jewelry store today and tried on a couple of bands. For the most part, they just don't look right. The channel set bands are out...they look completely wrong. There was a nice prong-set ring but it looked a little too fussy. I also tried on a plain band, one that could be fit to follow my engagement ring but they'd need to have my engagement ring for about a month to create the wax wedding band and get that going. Frankly, if my fiance's going to spend an additional $400-$600 on that, I'd just as soon he got me a different piece of jewelry instead and let the three stone ring be the whole deal.

It might not be appropriate for me to wear this ring if it will serve as both my engagement and wedding ring but I am wearing it and enjoying it now. As I see it, we were became committed when he proposed.

Might have that hassle out of the way. whew

B

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Of course, you can choose to use the ring, or not, as you see fit. However, traditionally the wedding band is saved to be used during the ceremony for the first time (as per etiquette). It kinda blows the tradition and the specialness of the ring exchange if you're already wearing the ring though (just my opinion). [crazy]