[cricket]

Hello,

I need to know if there is something else I can call a pre-wedding party on an invitation, instead of an "engagement party."

A little Background:

I really need some help with a sticky situtation. My fiance and I are planning a wedding, where most of his family lives in Oregon and most of my Family lives in Upstate, NY. The wedding is going to be in upstate NY. We confirmed our wedding list a while ago and only his close family and friends from Oregon are going to be invited to the wedding.

My Fiance and I are also planning to move to Oregon after our wedding. My Mom, Dad, and sister thought it would be nice to see Oregon before the wedding, so they booked a trip.

My FMIL wants to use the opportunity to introduce me and my family to her extended family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. She is planning a large lawn party over a July weekend. Both she and I agree that we can't call the party an "engagement party" because we won't be inviting everyone to the wedding. She suggested "pre-wedding party" or "West Coast Reception". I still don't think that these are appropriate options for the invitations. However I can't come up with anything else. She really wants to convey that my family will be the special guests at this event. Any suggestions?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Cricket,

There really is no way to politely make this a pre-wedding party no matter what you call it if these guests are not going to be invited to the wedding. You definitely couldn't call it a reception, when it is held before the wedding. This implies that it is a shower and there should be gifts. So, it is best that it is simply a party in which she doesn't honor anyone, but introduces everyone.

Best wishes,