[countdowntowed]

My family hates Spanish music but my fiance's family is in charge of music for the reception and they want to have a Spanish Band and a DJ. My fiance and I are arguing because he wants a band. He's telling me if we cant have a band I cant have a grand march which is something I want because it's traditional for my family. I have my parents nagging me that they hate spanish music and if there's a Spanish band they'll get a Polka band. I have my fiance's mom telling me there will be a Spanish band no matter what. What can I tell my fiance and MOG to convince them all we need is a DJ?

[Nancy Tucker]

As in every part of wedding planning, you must communicate and compromise. Instead of insisting on a DJ, join your fiance and his family in the choice of the band and request that not all of the music be Latin. It would be very unlikely that the band doesn't offer all types of music. Talk about it and find a band that can meet everyone's needs; even polka.

[Etiquette Now]

I completely agree. Plus, you two could pay for it and avoid anyone telling you what to include.

[The Video Pros]

Your comment mentions that your fiance wants a Band and a DJ, is this correct? Is the idea of the DJ being that the DJ would play music while the band takes a break, or alternate throughout the evening?

Many spanish bands play a good variety of music, unless they are strictly mariachi. You might consider asking your future mother-in-law if she can provide the name and contact information of the band, so you can request a copy of their play list and/or speak with the band's manager and find out what variety they can and/or are willing to play. If they have a demo CD, you could request a copy and share the music with your family prior to the wedding.

Regarding the grand march, were you planning on having the DJ provide this music or was the church going to provide this service? There are many beautiful songs to choose from in terms of traditional wedding music, and your DJ should be able to assist you with sample music, etc.

It concerns me when I read "he says if he can't have this .... then I can't have that." Marriage is a commitment through good times and bad, and your wedding day should be a day of beauty and harmony. Ultimatums thrown down during power struggles is not a good thing and bad for the digestion[]

Perhaps if you and your loved one take some time away from family and spend a day together to discuss the pros and cons without anger and/or demands, your lives will find balance and your hearts will speak as one.

The only control we have in life is how we choose to react to situations. It may seem minor, but in the end it is our reaction choices that will ultimately make us calm or angry, happy or sad.