[QuickQuestion2]

Hello all-

I'm aware that this question has been asked in various ways elsewhere on this forum, but I believe my situation to be slightly different (don't we all, though?) and was hoping to get some advice.

My fiance and I have been together for six years. In the last three we started discussing marriage--he comes from a family that had suffered a divorce when he was only seven, my parents have been together for almost 40 years-- for a long time, I thought he would never propose and I was relatively happy just being with him. Yes, I loved the idea of being married to him, standing up in front of our friends and family and vowing to be the best people we could be to each other, but I understood that if I wanted to be with this man, it would be under the terms he was comfortable with, and marriage wasn't something he was comfortable with.

However, this past September, he surprised me with a proposal and an engagement ring. I was floored, shocked, incredibly happy. So happy, in fact, that I disregarded the feeling that was conjured up in the pit of my stomach every time I looked at the ring he had selected for me.

See, my fiance has *quite* the track record of picking out *hideous* jewelry for me. It started when I had developed a love of pearls- so classic and clean looking. He bought me a string of pearls-- freshwater pearls, on a string, making them look like the jutting teeth of some underwater creature.

Some years later I moved on to cameos, loving their Victorian delicacy and charm. So he bought me a cameo, the picture on the front of a rather hideous woman with a pointed nose on a tacky gold background.

I love that he tries. The fact that he pays attention to the things that I like and tries so hard to pick something out for me is incredibly charming and makes me all the more sure that this man will be constantly attentive to my needs.

However, as I felt him begin to soften towards the idea of marriage, I began to point of engagement rings that I thought were beautiful. I started out subtle and moved on to forwarding him pictures from websites, emailing him links and pointing out friends' rings. It was a pretty obvious theme- A vintage look- asscher cut with a white gold band.

The ring he presented me with is beautiful- a three stone-princess cut ring on a tapered band. However, it is simply *not* my style- I've seen dozens like it since and each time it makes my heart sink. I've worn it for six months now, waiting for it to grow on me- knowing that he selected it out of love and from his heart.

Obviously, six months is a little too late to talk to him about this. I've accepted the ring and exchanging it is out of the question. At this point, should I just wear the ring until the wedding and retire it when I get a wedding band that suites me better? He spent a lot of time and money on this ring and I'm loathed to hurt his feelings.[blush]

Any advice?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear QuickQuestion,

Some people move their engagement rings to their right hand when they get married. Perhaps this is something you could do as well. But, it would mean getting another expensive ring. Plus, it sounds like the ring you wanted is an engagement ring and you would still need a wedding ring.

I don't really know what you could do except be honest. But, there is no way of knowing if it would hurt his feelings, especially since you have been wearing it for so long.

Only you can make this choice. [unsure]

Best wishes,