[slw2b]

I recently received a wedding invitation from the sister of a friend, whose wedding I would not have expected to be invited to. The invitation was addressed only to me, even though the family knows that I am engaged to be married in a few months. There was no response card included with the invitation. The wedding is five weeks from now, and is in Alabama (I live in New York). The reception follows at the church and was included as part of the invitation wording. Since I have no way to respond, and I clearly would not attend the wedding by myself, I'm wondering if the invitation was intended as an announcement rather than an actual invite. How should I respond? Is a card enough or is a gift required because I am uncertain of the intent? I would rather not have to ask my friend if they meant to invite me or not - rather uncomfortable, no?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Slw,

This is an invitation. An announcement is sent after the wedding. When a response card is not included, you are expected to write a formal response. You are not obligated to attend or to send a gift. A card would be fine.

Best wishes,