[iknownothing]

I've seen this question touched upon a couple of times, and I'm looking for some more advice. I'm getting close to proposing. And I know next to nothing about jewelry, and my girlfriend is very knowledgeable and probably a little particular. By that I don't mean she's expecting a big rock. Quite the contrary, I think she would like something more modest. If anything she would like a quality stone, and I want to do that for her. But beyond that (color, setting), I haven't a clue.

She does drop hints but I don't want to ask too many questions because I don't want to ruin the surprise. Same thing goes for asking her friends. It just takes the fun out of it if everyone knows it's coming. Part of me feels it's a cop-out if I can't pick out a ring. But I've pretty much resigned to the fact that I'll need her help to pick out what she really wants. (And it's very important that she's happy with what I/we pick out). I know it's not unusual to buy the diamond separately from the setting, what about buying the diamond for the proposal and then shopping together for the setting? Do people do that? Any other ideas? As far as shopping together, is it normal for the fiancee to know how much her ring costs?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Iknownothing,

Great name! You will make a great husband, because the best statement a husband can make is, "My wife is always right." []

Women are particular about their rings. And, these day most couples combine their incomes once married. Many before. So, she will probably find out how much it costs anyway.

It may be best to choose the ring together. Just let her know your financial limitations and choose something within that range.

You could propose with out the ring. It will be just as romantic.

Best wishes,