[randysgirl]

First, let me put things into perspective... We would like to have a moderate size wedding... not huge, but not small either. Approx 200 guests total. My parents' list is around 60 people. Future father-in-law's list is about 30. FI and I have about 50, and future mother-in-law(FI has divorced parents) gave us a list of 209. And her list doesn't include any of the wedding party, or people on any of the other lists... FI doesn't even know half of them! When we told her that we couldn't include everyone on her list, she threw a fit and wouldn't talk to her son for 3 days.

My parents do not have the money to pay for a dinner/dancing/drinking reception and have said that they will pay for cake and punch at the church. FI and I do not have the money for big reception either, and the little money that I have saved would be better used (in my opinion) as a down payment on a house.

My question is... would it be ok to have a cake and punch reception immediately following the ceremony? and then tell everyone that we are planning on going to XYZ Bar later that night for dancing and that anyone is welcome to join us? And in between the church reception and dancing at the bar, have a small dinner for the wedding party?

What are your thoughts on this?

[Nancy Tucker]

Dear Randys Girl,

I don't see anything wrong with your idea. I think you have considered both your guests and your bridal party in making this decision. I like the idea.

[Etiquette Now]

It sounds good to me also, as long as it doesn't sounds as if you are inviting guests to the bar--we pay for our guests.

Bravo on saving money for a down payment on a house.

[randysgirl]

What would be the best way to let people know that they are welcome to join us at the bar, but also let them know that they would be responsible for their own drinks?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Randysgirl,

I think the way you worded it in your questions is best. State very informally that you and your new husband are going to celebrate later at the XYZ bar and wouldn't mind company. This does not imply that you are hosting a party, simply that you two will be dancing to the beat of the local watering hole.

Best wishes,

[SwtRandi]

I am doing the same idea with a few exceptions. Is it ok to add that little detail on the invitation? Like say "we are celebrating at blank after the ceremony and you are welcome to accompany us" ? Or is there another way to word it? Or another way to tell people?

Thanks in Advance!!

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Please post your question as a new question in the appropriate forum.