[mjbride]

My fiance and I have a close friend who is a wedding photographer. I've posed for him in the past, and the results of that photography session as well as his promotional material have led my fiance and I to conclude that he is a mediocre photographer, at best. What would you recommend is the best way of informing him that we are hiring someone else? Both he and his partner will be invited to our reception, but the ceremony will be private (family only). As a result, telling him that we hired someone else because we want him to enjoy the celebration won't explain why we don't want him photographing the ceremony and taking the formal photos. Any thoughts?

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Tell him you've heard horror stories from other brides about friendships being broken up over hiring friends to provide wedding services. Because you value his friendship so much, you'd prefer to hire a stranger. Then you can add in that you're sure he'd have much more fun at the reception as a guest and quickly move on to another subject. Don't leave too much time for discussion.

Let us know how it turns out.

[Etiquette Now]

That is exactly what I would have suggested. Great advice.

[Weddings by Shayna]

Another approach could be to tell him that you truly want him to be there exclusively as a guest - even if he likes to work, you're insisting on a "day off" for him.

You can remind him, as well, that many photographers include an exclusivity clause in their contracts requiring that they be the only photographer shooting the wedding - they go so far as to forbid people from shooting over their shoulders (not only to sell more photos, but it's hard to shoot when the subject is looking at another camera). Just ask him to show professional courtesy and minimize photo-taking for anything other than his own personal memories.