[geethomas]

My daughter wants unity candles lit by me (the mother), her Dad, and the groom's mother and father. Each of the four of us are divorced and remarried. Please suggest ways to handle the escorting and seating of the biological mothers for the lighting of the unity candle. We have seen this done with four candles, but do not like that idea.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Seating,

I hope all of you get along well. This is a bit difficult because typically the divorced father sits in the third row with his new spouse. If there is room, it would be best for all four of the bride's parents and step parents and all four of the groom's parents and step parents sit up front. Four on one side and four on the other. This will make this much easier.

This is just one idea, hopefully it appeals to you. The fathers and their spouses would be seated along with the step fathers. The mother of the groom is escorted to her seat by an usher and then the mother of the bride would be escorted by the head usher right before the music begins.

When the time is appropriate for the candle lighting, the mothers could walk up, take a candle and walk back to the fathers. The fathers could light the candles and the mothers would walk back and light the center candle together.

There are other ways, but this may appeal to you.

Please let me know.

Best wishes,