[bigapplebaby]

First, I'd like to say how helpful this web site is and how much I appreciate the time you all volunteer to try to guide all of us stressed-out brides.

We've been walking the etiquette line since the beginning. For example, we're having a black tie wedding even though our ceremony has to start at 5:30 (for religious reasons). Our ceremony will be on the more traditional side (mostly white- decor and flowers) but the reception will be contemporary with very vibrant, dramatic color. The women in the wedding party (including moms) will all be in jewel tones so they will stand out amongst the guests (who often tend to wear darker colors, etc.) I also loved that I would be the only one in white.

We're planning for the groomsmen to be in black tuxedos, black bow ties and black vests (they will have colorful boutineeres). I wanted the groom to wear an ivory bow tie and vest to match my dress but my mother thinks it is inappropriate since it is not a white tie event and he will not be wearing tails. Is that true? Can't the groom wear a white tie/vest to match me? If not, do you have other suggestions?

Thanks so much, in advance!

[Makeup Expert]

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Why don't you try to change the color of bow ties and vests for the groom's party from black to something a bit more colorful, to complement the bridesmaids' dresses? Black bow ties might make them look a bit like the Maitre' D and you don't want your wedding party to be mistaken for help! If the jewel tones are too much for vests and bow ties, make them several tones lighter in the same colors - corresponding to the the colors of the bridesmaids' dresses. Your fiancee can wear silverish bow tie and vest, which will make him stand out, while at the same time keeping your Mom happy. If you don't like the idea, maybe you could have him wear ivory tuxedo to match your dress more closely. Use your imagination, but to explore your options, you might want to preview what's offered on the websites of tuxedo rental companies - they have a lot to offer! Enjoy the wedding!

[Etiquette Now]

I agree and that is wonderful advice.

Thank you for wanting to follow what is considered appropriate. Your guests will appreciate it.

Black tie doesn't really mean that the men must wear black ties. It refers to the formality. So, they could wear a different color.