2 friends 2 wedding planner

#1 kneec62

Newbie

Group: Registered users
Posts: 3
Joined: 18-February 08

I fear my sanity slipping away. I have two very dear friends and each is a fine wedding planner in her own right. I have been getting ideas from each for free as one told the other however I feel caught in between them. I have not hired either one but have been getting controlling and demanding free advise. The final event was a nasty e-mail from one to the other stating "I'm handing the bride over to you "what am I a glaze doughnut. I want to be nice but I feel feed up and ready tell them both to just go away, start fresh and hire someone. This free advice is rather costly.

#2 Wedding Queen and MOG

Forum Moderator & Wedding Expert

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It is said, "you get what you pay for", so it may be best to hire a wedding planner or consultant. Free advice for a couple of small issues, such as what we provide here, can work. But, if you need full service wedding planning it's best to hire a professional. And, you can tell each of these ladies that, since you care for them both equally and want them to enjoy the wedding as a guest, you will be hiring a planner. Do remember though, bridal coordinators are people too. You should treat them with respect and work with them to get the best results.

#3 kneec62

Newbie

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Posts: 3
Joined: 18-February 08

Thanks, my fiance agreed

#4 Weddings by Shayna

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Joined: 08-January 05
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It was difficult to interpret from your question who was demanding advice, but I caution you strongly that even if you are paying for a professional coordinator, no one has the right to demand anything of a conscientious expert fulfilling her contract. Please carefully select someone that you trust, pay them what they are worth, and treat them with respect. In return, you should see great results and feel much less conflict and stress in your planning.

Additionally, please tell the professional you hire (politely) about your friends and ask how you can all best handle the situation. Nothing is more difficult for a coordinator on-site (and worse for the flow of the day) than well-meaning friends controlling or micro-managing (i.e. changing your instructions or contradicting the paid coordinator) the events on the wedding day - that is why you work together in advance to make the necessary decisions and designate an authority figure. Encourage your friends to enjoy the day, and make it clear to them that you have chosen another "boss".