registry and merchant of choice

#1 phoebe

Newbie

Group: Registered users
Posts: 2

I do apologize if this is a repeat question, but my searches have yielded no results so far.

If a couple is registered at a particular store, and one chooses to give a gift from that registry, is it obligatory (or expected) that the giver purchase the item from that exact store?

In this case, the store and wedding are in one country; the couple resides in another. It seems to me that to purchase from the country of residence makes ultimately much more sense and saves enough dollars to actually double the gift, a misnomer if there ever was one. And, ultimately, it's the most thoughtful route to follow although it's definitely more time-consuming for the giver.

My announcement that the couple should expect a delivery received a somewhat icy response, I thought; certainly there was no expression of thanks, the one issue I would consider mandatory. Did I make a terrible faux pas? Have I embarrased the couple or compromised their position at the registry store?

#2 Etiquette Now

WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT

Group: Moderators of any forum
Posts: 10,696
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Location:Davis, CA

Dear Phoebe,

The registry is supposed to be a guideline for guests who wish to give. It really shouldn't matter where you purchase it. But, to announce that they will be receiving a package soon, may have sounded as if you wanted to be thanked. We give because we wish to give, not for thanks. However, the couple should be thankful and should express it.

Best wishes,

#3 Weddings by Shayna

Advanced Member

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Posts: 265
Gender:Male

Purchasing the gift from an another store is fine - no couple is entitled to have only what they want purchased, where they want it purchased.

I don't understand the icy response either. It's an inappropriate action for someone receiving any gift. I could venture a guess that they do not understand that they are receiving something they requested. They may think that you've decided to get "creative" and fear that it's something they don't want and can't return.

That said, it's a gift. They don't get to act like that no matter what you chose to send them. Hopefully there has just been a miscommunication, and they are actually quite pleased (perhaps just stressed?)