[lavesa]

My maid of honor is my cousin who knows me like a book. She knows excatly what I want in a bridal shower but her funds and other resources are limited. My matron is a little country and outdated but she has plenty of resources and can afford to have a fabulous shower for me. The problem is my matron has reserved a 5 Million Dollar Mansion for my shower along with ordering a few favors and planning things in her head without my maid. When my maid found out, she was HURT and she cried for a week because my matron did not include her. My matron has expressed to me that she is just a person that takes care of things and she's not trying to keep her out but she saw the opportunity and ran with it. My maid didn't go for that and she has been calling and calling but because my matron has been SOOOO busy she hadn't called back but she also hadn't done anything else for the shower. My maid is thinking of doing something separate and allowing the matron to work alone. Being that I'm not supposed to directly know what's going on with the shower I need some advice. My matron needs the help and my maid wants to plan it but neither one of them seem to want to get on the same page. I don't want any drama but I do want a nice shower.

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 11 June 2025 - 08:32 AM

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Lavesa,

Well, the shower should be small and intimate with no more than 35 guests. So, it would seem that your Matron may be planning something that wouldn't be proper or viewed as positive. I suppose that you will have to call the matron and tell her that although you shouldn't be in the planning seat of this optional party, you feel that you need to step in and ask her to contact your Maid. Then ask both to plan with proper etiquette in mind if they wish to host a shower. If this isn't possible, it may be best to skip the shower.

Best wishes,