[goingMAD]

I couldn't find a question that is similar to my situation. I am finishing college and also getting married at the end of the month. I have a few close school friends who are invited to the wedding. My sisters & one of my classmates are throwing me a wedding shower and a bachelorette party. My problem is that my groom & I have venue restrictions that number the amount of people that can attend our wedding. Well, My classmate has invited several people to the shower (to be held next weekend) that are not invited to the wedding because I don't really know them as well as she does. I just found out about this as did my sisters. Some of them allegedly know that they aren't invited to the wedding, but I'm not sure if they all know. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings especially if they bring a gift, but I can't afford to invite them especially at this late of a date. Should they be uninvited? If not, should I refuse their gifts. Some are only invited to the shower and some are only invited to the bachelorette party. I haven't spoken to any of the non-wedding invitees, so how should this be handled. Please help me ASAP!

[Etiquette Now]

Dear GoingMAD,

It would be best if your friend uninvites them stating that you can't invite them to the wedding. From there, if they state that they don't care, then it isn't your faux pas, although it would be best if they didn't attend. It is just that it is so impolite to invite and then uninvite. If they offer a gift, it is polite to accept it. But, maybe your hosts could state that this is a gift-less shower. This is a very gracious party these days.

Hopefully your sisters are also your attendants because family shouldn't host unless they are also attendants.

Also, you state that you have a limited amount of guests you can invite. Please remember that all wedding guests are also invited to the reception.

Best wishes,

[goingMAD]

I will definitely get her to call every last one of the people she invited to let them know. Of course I know that everyone invited to the ceremony is invited to the reception that was always a no-brainer. I also know that family never throws the shower, but my sisters are my attendants.This situation just caught me off guard and no one could give me a straight answer. Thank you so much for your help!