[Llelwyn]

I know the etiquette is to have the hostess (in this case, me) pay for the bridal shower. The problem is that I am not certain that I'll be able to pay for a catered event, given that I am a college student with next to no money, and what little I do have is going to be going into college, a move, a trip to attend my fiance's sister's wedding, and buying clothing for this wedding I'm helping to plan. I'm already planning a VERY scaled-down shower, a picnic lunch in a local botanical garden, but I would like to have the food be catered if possible by the bride's favorite local restaurant. So, the question is, is there any polite way to ask people to chip in for the catering? Should I just get in contact with the folks the bride wants invited and ask them directly if that would be acceptable, or should I put together a menu and cook it myself, or even have the event be a pot-luck?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Llelwyn,

It is never appropriate or polite to ask guests to bring the party or to open their wallets. It isn't an option. What is an option is the shower itself. If you can't afford the shower, perhaps it shouldn't be hosted.

The shower doesn't have to be expensive or include a meal. It isn't a reception. It is supposed to be a small, intimate party of no more than 30-35 guests--host a smaller amount of guests for affordability. The food could be just nibbles, cake, and a beverage.

Best wishes,

[Llelwyn]

Hm, alright then. Thanks for the advice!