[rubyslipper84]

My best friend and I grew up in Michigan. She moved to Indiana for college and met her fiance and will be living there permanently after there wedding here in Michigan in mid-July. I am not the maid of honor but am in the bridal party and was just informed by her sister (the maid of honor) that they are having the bachelorette party in Indiana on the July 4th holiday weekend. This is apparently the only weekend that works out for them. I, however, have 2 conflicts. One, this has always been a family weekend for me, it's kind of a big deal. Both my out of state brother-in-law and sister-in-law will be here to visit and that is rare. My own future husband will be stuck working that Saturday night but my intention was to spend time with our families. My second conflict is money. It will cost a fortune in gas to drive the 5 hours to get there as well as the costs for going out, bachelorette party gift and hotel. She called me yesterday and said how much she wants me to be there and hopes that I can work it out. I said I would do my best but I'm really uneasy about it. I would appreciate any advice. She knows about the family situation but I'm a bit uncomfortable discussing the money situation.

Thanks!

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Rubyslipper,

This is an optional party for which all need to be in agreement about the planning, as all of you are paying for it. So, it is perfectly fine not to attend. All of your reasons are valid.

Best wishes,