[ssydnor]

There are 3 of us that are bridesmaids- no MOH. The wedding is coming up in October. I am a friend of the bride and do not know the bridesmaids well at all. About two months ago, I emailed the other girls about planning the bachelorette party and that we should get together. NO response. I emailed again a few weeks later, the only response being 'Call me. I'm not good at email'. It is hard for me to call as my roommate is the bride. Email works so much better for me I responded that I will try to call but didn't do it. My fault on that one!

This may be where things went astray. I hadn't heard from either of the girls and we had seen eachother at a few events. I decided to send an email out to everyone, including the attendees of the bachelorette party, and mentioned dates and ideas I had. I asked for suggestions and was completely open.

Still I heard nothing from the two bridesmaids. I decided to email them once more directly. This time I got a "CALL ME! I've been wanting to talk about this for a while." It got my attention and I immediately called one girl and left a message.

It has been 10 days and no response from her. Then I find out that she told the bride that she feels I did not include her and took over the planning. I am confused.

On one hand, I feel that I have done what I could with the information I had and started working on things. I did continue to ask for input and to collaborate. On the other hand, I think I may had overstepped my boundary? Misinterpretted my duties as a bridesmaid? Maybe I wasn't supposed to be the one planning this? I feel horrible if I have hurt their feelings and I think I very well may have done this.

What should I do to rectify the situation when these girls won't respond to me? Help!

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Ssydnor,

Since you aren't the MOH, and planning any of these parties is optional anyway, it really doesn't matter who begins planning. You did and tried to involve the others. They had every opportunity to "CALL" you as well. They chose not to.

I suppose you could try again to contact them by phone to ask if they want to plan either of these parties and ask for their input. At that time you could try to mend some fences. Open communication, if possible, is best.

Best wishes,

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I agree with Rebecca. Try calling one last time and setting them in the right direction, reminding them that it's all about your friend, the bride.

If the bride has mentioned this to you, then explain yourself without causing her too much distress. The bride really shouldn't be involved in any of this planning nor should she be drug into complaints regarding an event that is supposed to be her fun, "last night of freedom" party.