[Bride2bNYC]

Three different people in my town have offered to host engagement parties for us. Neither of us have family where we live, and the friends' circles are overlapping. Is it appropriate to say yes to one offer, and suggest that one do a shower and one do the day-after-wedding brunch? These are all good friends, and I've thrown showers & bachelorette parties for them, we all like to host parties & have people over, so i don't think it's too onerous (i'd even be happy to pay for food for the day-after brunch). But it still seems rude. On the other hand, it also seems rude to turn down all these generous offers from close friends.

I'm also not really looking for gifts (i'm not registering, just spreading the word for no gifts, or, if they must "romantic gifts"). I just like the idea of getting people together, but appropriately.

Suggestions?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Bride2bNYC,

Refreshing! Thank you for that breath of fresh air. Someone who isn't focused on gifts is special.

These are special friends indeed. And, you are right. It wouldn't be appropriate to "suggest" for someone to host a certain type of party in our honor. However, in this case, since they offered, you could state that you have these 3 offers and would love to accept, but want to appear as proper as possible and having 3 engagement parties might seem a bit much. Then slyly mention that there are other types of wedding related parties that could be planned. Perhaps they will ask for more detail and you are set.

Best wishes,