[hilaryangl]

Hello,

My fiance' and I are going to Ireland to get married in April 2009. We will quickly legalize our marriage the day before we leave due to restrictions in Ireland. We are having a symbolic ceremony for the 2 of us in Ireland which we will consider our true wedding day when we say our vows,exchange rings and wear our wedding clothes.

We are having an Irish pub cocktail party reception two weeks after we return so it's in the spirit of our honeymoon. It will be from 3 to 7 PM to allow traveling home time for out of town guests. It's for approx 75 guests. We will be showing pictures and video of our ceremony and trip. We will have a cake and I will be wearing my wedding dress.
My dilemma is to design an invitation that addresses the following:

1) There isn't a meal; only hors d'oeuvres and drinks

2) It's cocktail party style so seating will be limited

3) Because of the cocktail party and in a pub, this is for adults only

Do I refer to this as a "cocktail party-style reception"? Do I just to it as an "adult cocktail party" and leave reception out?

Hilary

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Hilary,

This isn't a formal wedding reception, so you can use an informal invitation. This invitation can be like a short letter stating that the party is in a bar so it isn't the best place for children and leave the decision to the parents.

Since you are not providing a meal, it is best that this is an open house type affair, where guests come and go at all times during the duration of the party. If you were inviting them for the entire time period, a meal would be expected.

And, please remember that as host you provide the entire party. Your guests shouldn't have to open their wallets for anything.

Best wishes,