[irishk]

One of my bridesmaids asked a few months ago if her mother was invited to my wedding. I informed her at the time that no she was not on the guest list. She asked if she would be able to bring her mother instead of her husband so that they may make a vacation out of my wedding.(they will be flying cross country). I agree that she could bring her mother in place of her husband. I told her that her mother could participate in a wine and cheese event at the hotel for all out of town guests (we have over 100) instead of attending the rehearsal dinner. My finance' and I want a small rehearsal with only those participating in the event. My bridesmaid is now furious with me and will not speak to me since her mother is not invited. I feel that I was rather accommodating allowing her to bring her mother instead of her husband in the first place. Am I wrong here? My fiance' has never even met her mother.
Any advice would be helpful ;)

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Irishk,

This is unfortunate and a great example of the problem we have with so many feeling "entitled". It appears as if she feels entitled to make her own rules according to what she wants. You were very accommodating to allow her mother to join your out of town guests at a special pre-wedding function. And, it really wasn't polite to ask to exchange one escort for another.

So, perhaps you could suggest that she read an etiquette book or inform her that you have been doing your homework because you were worried you had made a mistake and find that her mother need not be invited to any of it.

You are very generous to provide a special function for your out of town guests.

Best wishes,

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I agree. This is a shame. She really shouldn't put you in such a position by asking if her mother could be invited in place of her husband, especially if you're not familiar with her mother. Most couples only want those closest to them to be present for the wedding and I can't blame them. But, you were very accommodating. As Rebecca suggested, you can politely inform your friend that your rehearsal dinner is only for wedding participants and you want to keep the group intimate - no exceptions. Don't leave it open for discussion. If she's a real friend, she will understand. If not, well... [unsure]