[odie5]

Hello,

My boyfriend and I have been dating about a year and are not directly talking about marriage yet and I am not expecting a proposal soon. But, when it does happen I have a feeling that he will want it to be a surprise.

We have some friends who just got engaged and we were talking about rings one night. He is set on the idea that the bride-to-be is presented with an engagement ring and then that same ring is supplemented by a wedding band at the time of the wedding. This is very traditional and fine, but I have my grandmother's ring that I would really like to use - the stones are beautiful, but I would want to get them reset...

My question is, since he would probably end up buying an engagement ring without my knowing and be set on using it as the wedding ring, how do I broach the subject (if at all) of using my grandmother's ring instead.

Thanks

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Odie,

It seems that if you two already discussed rings, you could mention your preference when it is discussed again.

Many couples choose rings together now. This way both choose rings they like best. And, many, if not most, couples share expenses by the time they decide to marry, so both should agree on the costs of the rings. It is just one of many decisions the couple should decide together.

Best wishes,