[stang99]

I've read through several pages of postings trying to figure out if I am responsible for paying for my attendants' spouses/significant others lodging (we're hosting a destination wedding in Hawaii). I am planning on paying for two nights of accommodations (as per your recommendation) however, I can't seem to find a clear answer on if I am required to pay for my attendants' spouses. It seems odd to only extend the lodging offer to the attendants themselves (as most will be coming with a date) however, my mom has said this is overly generous & is not needed & that I should instead, ask my attendants to "bunk up." Who's right? Do I need to pay for couples or just the attendants themselves?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Stang,

You are correct that if you are asking your attendants to travel and stay for your wedding, you are expected to pay for the lodging for them and their significant other. If they are not in a relationship, you are not expected to pay for the date's lodging.

Best wishes,