[joyadew1]

I am from Arizona and my fiance is from Maryland. We both have pretty big families and friends. Each about 200+. All his family is in Maryland area and all my family is in the Arizona area. My family will pretty much be paying for the majority of costs. It will be hard for either family to make trip to one place or the other and we would like to share our special moment with everyone close to us. I want to have a ceremony and reception in AZ and then perhaps a week or two later do a second reception in Maryland area where we would show video of ceremony. I would want to be able to invite everyone to both but we know only certain people will attend one or the other. What is the best way going about this as far as sending invitations out to people? How do we explain it as a renewal or second reception? At the second reception can we say personal vows to each other that perhaps are not said at first ceremony?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Joyadew,

Two receptions is fine and typically what many do these days of spread out families. But, it wouldn't be proper or polite to treat this as a vow renewal, after all there is nothing to "renew". Showing the video would be perfect, as it would allow the family to feel like they are more a part of the main event.

You would be sending wedding/reception invitations to all those invited to the wedding and first reception. Send reception invitations to all those invited to the second reception.

This is usually much more informal than the first, excluding many of the traditional reception elements--your call on those. So there shouldn't be any problem for those who feel that they will miss out on the second reception. Plus, this isn't held on the same day, eliminating the problem of not inviting all wedding guests to the entire reception. Of course it would be best if they were. But, this really isn't possible in many cases.

Best wishes,