[amyhughes]

Hello,

This is my first post, so I think I am in the right spot. My husband and I have been married for 7 years. He is converting to the Catholic faith, and I am sponsoring him during this transition. I am a lifelong Catholic.

Our first time we married in a small civil ceremony as we were younger, without a lot of funds. we also didn't have any parental involvement that would have helped fund a wedding. There was also some familial discourse at the time that would have made me choose between my beloved Grandfather and my Father. The hatchet is somewhat buried now, thankfully.

We were approached by our Deacon stating that we needed to Convalidate our marriage in the Church before my husband is confirmed (not sure why it couldn't wait until after he is confirmed, but such is life). We have filled out the necessary paperwork and have opted for Feb 14th or 21st, early afternoon.

This is what I am planning so far, just want to be sure this is low key.

We are only planning on inviting our closest family members and a couple of friends (our children's Godparents, namely)

He will wear a suit, our sons will wear nice slacks, shoes, and matching shirts and ties.

I will wear a nice cream, light pink, or red wool dress or skirt suit. A small bouquet.

Our Deacon said we could have music, not sure if that would make it too formal or not.

We plan on having an after ceremony luncheon at a local restaurant in their banquet room. Maybe making some small centerpieces for a larger table.

Ordering a cake from the same lady who does all of our cakes for birthdays and other celebrations. Having it presliced, ready to serve our guests with some homemade chocolate mints.

Do these plans sound appropriate. I looked at idotaketwo.com, but wanted to run my specifics passed everyone just to be sure before I get to into this nothing sticks out like a sore thumb. I am working on a tight schedule :)

Thank you in advance!!

This post has been edited by amyhughes: 09 January 2026 - 05:05 PM

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Your plans sound wonderful. Let's have our Catholic expert reply to your question regarding why your Deacon said you'd need to have your marriage convalidated before his confirmation. I think I know, but I'm no expert in the catholic faith.

God bless both of you during your journey.

[DennyandKay]

Congratulations! Your convalidation plans are well thought out and very appropriate. How wise of you to do research before asking your question! This saves everyone here so much time. Thank you!

As to why your marriage needs to be convalidated before he is confirmed--basically, it's all in the timing. Unless your marriage is recognized as sacramental in the eyes of the Church, when he is confirmed as a Catholic, he will be considered as being in a state of sin rather than a state of grace. Essentially, your marriage convalidation will also bring you back into a state of grace in the eyes of the Church and you will both be welcome to receive the sacraments together as husband and wife.

If this isn't clear enough, please speak with your deacon for clarification. He sounds like a knowledgeable person who can advise you.

God bless you both!

[amyhughes]

Thank you both for such quick replies!

Do you think red would be okay to wear? Right now it is very difficult to find colors that would look good, aside from black (which just doesn't seem fitting with the occasion) and white.

Thank You!
Amy

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Please post this as a new question since it will require different experts.