[kaitj]

I am a bridesmaid in my friends wedding. The MOH has asked that the bridesmaids help out with the shower. She split up the "duties" (decorations, party favors, etc). The invitation to the shower states that she and the Bride's mother are hosting the party.

We all agreed to help. And I figured she would need help since she lives in Illinois and the wedding is in Florida. She never mentioned anything about paying for it she only assigned duties. I thought that since she was hosing it with the MOB that they were covering all costs and we were just helping out.

I asked her what her budget was and she responded that the bridesmaids would be paying for their "duty".

I am confused and do not know what to do. I feel that if we are expected to pay that the invitation should say co-hosted by the bridal party and she should have made it clear that we would be paying for it.

help!

thank you

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Kaitj,

You are under no obligation to pay for anything you didn't offer to pay. She may ask, but that doesn't mean anyone needs to pay up.

The mother shouldn't have anything to do with paying, planning, or hosting. But, this isn't your problem. It could be embarrassing to those who know better though.

Best wishes,