[ESH32]

I searched the posts for information regarding fathers and vow renewal ceremonies. I'm clear on the fact that my father should not be walking with me in the ceremony, but I'm having trouble finding ideas on how to include him or recognize him in some way, since we married at a JOP 10 years ago, and he was not included. (I thought I didn't care about a wedding at the time... lesson learned). Do you have any suggestions or resources?

Would it be in appropriate to address him during the ceremony? Something along the lines of "Before I met my husband, the only man I ever needed was my father". And, possibly say some things regarding traits my husband shares with my dad that drew me to him?

Thank you for your time.

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 13 February 2026 - 06:58 PM

[RevSusanna]

While there are no hard and fast rules, what you are suggesting is unusual---particularly for a vow renewal.
Having said that, if you are having a very intimate event, it could work.

It may be more appropriate to have your father bless the union---a fatherly thing to do. He may prepare something in his own words or recite a traditional blessing of his choice. This is a great honor.

Another option which would include all your parents: Prepare personal notes of love and gratitude to each of your parents. Tie them to the stems of roses and present them to your parents at the very beginning of the ceremony.

The words you mentioned can certainly be said in a heartwarming toast at the reception.

Blessings,
Susanna

[Etiquette Now]

And, this is not a wedding or a legal ceremony, so he could be your officiant. An officiant just helps you two reaffirm your vows to each other.

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 13 February 2026 - 08:09 PM