[may2009]

Budget is a big issue for us. We have countless discussions surrounding the budget. We decided to purchase temporary wedding bands while we finish paying off our wedding bills. We are paying everything cash, no credit. We don't want to build any new debt. My husband-to-be brought me my wedding band. It is the style I wanted but it is very tiny and cost only $99. It is sooo tiny. My small engagement ring eats it up. I was honest and told him it was too small. Is it ok to request a different wedding ring? He told me he will see what he can do. I am working a second job to pay for the expenses, thus far he has not given much to the wedding expenses. Am I bridezilla?

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 24 February 2026 - 04:22 PM

[Etiquette Now]

Dear May,

Since you are trying to stay within a budget, it may be best to wait for the ring you want and hold on to the one you have now. To ask for a replacement right now could be defeating your purpose. (note the caveat) But, there are two issues here.

You want a certain type of ring and should have it if you two can afford it and feel that having a nicer ring is important. The word to focus on here is "two". And, this brings us to the other issue. You two are paying for the wedding, not just the "one". So, there should be some equality here, which only you two can determine why there isn't more.

This isn't etiquette advice, but advice I would offer my daughter and son. Make sure you are on the same page with your significant other and that both of you want the same things equally. If that is the case, then you both would want to work for it equally as hard.

--A caveat here--Normally, I would advise that we should always accept a gift graciously. But, I assume that you two are sharing or should be sharing all wedding related costs even though he did buy your ring. If it was truly a "gift", it should be received graciously.

Best wishes,

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I agree with rebecca. Allowing these feelings between the two of you to go without discussion will surely lead to resentment.

Decide between you just what is important regarding the wedding and spend your money on those things.

It's terrific that you already seem to know that starting off your married life in debt doesn't make sense. Very prudent.