[leenie]

My son is getting married this summer. We were not involved in any of the planning. The venue that was chosen only seats 70 people. My son informed me that we could invite 2 couples to the wedding. I told him we would be happy to pay for a few more of our friends to attend, but was told that the restaurant only held 70. I told him to take the 4 seats for his friends, as I could not choose between friends. My question: Is it within the rules of etiquette to have a small reception for the bride and groom for my friends and family? I do not want to appear to be looking for gifts for them, but I do wish to share this happy occasion with my friends.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Leenie,

It is appropriate--somewhat. It could appear as a gift generator if not planned well, even though it is not a gift giving event. Extra receptions are usually hosted when the wedding/reception is held far from those who would normally be invited or when the wedding/reception is a small affair. (I'm sure there are other reasons, but I can't think of any at the moment.) This situation could fall into that bracket. But, this shouldn't be viewed as a social event for parents. So, the friends you invite should also be very close friends of your son. Hosting this should also be something your son and his future wife want as well.

Best wishes,