[pcarp]

Hi,

We found a wedding venue that is to die for, however, it is 2K over budget. Should we change venues or cut our guest list of 100 down to compensate? We have second cousins and parents of childhood friends we're thinking of excluding. Would it be rude not to extend an invitation to our actual wedding but then later (a month or so) invite everyone who couldn't be a part to a more low key BBQ or picnic lunch as a way to include them once again in our marriage?

Thank you in advance!

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 13 March 2026 - 06:38 AM

[Nancy Tucker]

Yes, even though the reception is not the gift giving portion of the wedding, it could actually look like a gift grab. They would wonder why they were not included in the wedding. Have you considered doing a brunch instead of a dinner?

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 13 March 2026 - 07:02 AM

[Etiquette Now]

I'm guessing that you mean that your venue is for your wedding and reception?? If this is the case, I completely agree that it would be better to cut your costs somewhere else, as in changing the time of the wedding/reception (lunch as opposed to dinner). My reasoning is that it is fine to exclude people from your wedding, but all wedding guests are invited to the "real" and entire reception. To host another reception later for those who are in the area often does appear to be a gift grab.

Hosting a second reception is done often, though, but it is usually hosted for those who live in another state and couldn't attend the wedding/reception.