[bojo17]

My daugher is getting married on the East coast in May. She is in the military and lives across the country. Her fiance is also in the military and his family lives on the West coast.

She will be home for a few days the month before her wedding and then she will be home the week before her wedding. When she is home the month before the wedding her time will be filled with dress fittings and final arrangements with all the wedding vendors. That does not leave much time for a formal shower. In talking with her - she would prefer that her time be spent on final arrangements - although she would like to see family and friends. Her MOH is willing to plan some type of get together for her while she is here - but is wondering what type of event would be appropriate.

Would a luncheon at a local restaurant (without gifts), hosted by the MOH, and paid for by the brides parents, be appropriate - it would take less time than a formal shower - and would give her family and friends a chance to see her before her wedding. If we do this - what do you call this event? a bridal luncheon (only those invited to the wedding would be invited) - come see the bride?

I feel bad that there is not enough time for a formal shower hosted by her MOH - but from reading through the information on this site - it looks like a bridal shower is an optional event.

Any suggestions as to an appropriate - informal - and short event would be appreciated.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Bojo,

Thank you for doing your homework. It sounds like you really know your shower etiquette.

A bridal luncheon is something entirely different. So, that wouldn't be an appropriate name. In fact, any label you give the party might be confusing. So, why not just skip the name and invite guests to a gathering (get-together) or luncheon, making sure all know it is not a gift giving event.

Best wishes,