[SisterOH]

My brother in law has requested his nieces and nephews attend and/or be in the wedding as flower girls and ring bearers. However, he will not allow them to attend the reception. He wants us to pay all this money for clothes, travel 7 hours, take the pictures, be in the wedding, they can say for the cocktail hour but then are not allowed back. He has set up babysitters and pizza on another floor for the kids but they are so young my kids won't stay without me. So I have to leave also and he knows that and doesn't care. His answer is, "It is our wedding and it is for adults only" but I would think if they are in the wedding they should be allowed to attend the reception and eat dinner with the family. Is his request reasonable?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Sister,

You do have the choice of agreeing to allow your children to participate in the wedding. It isn't obligatory just because he asked. But, the rule is: All wedding guests and those participating in the wedding are invited to the entire reception. So, it is your decision.

Best wishes,