[BRIDE1224]

I have searched your site and unfortunately can not find an answer to my situation regarding seating assignments. First, I will give a background of my wedding planning thus far. My parents have generously contributed about $25k, including the ceremony/reception dinner costs. The groom's family has graciously offered $10k and a rehersal dinner. We are having the wedding in the hometown of the groom, at a venue suggested by his mother. I have acted as my own planner and done everything on my own, including designing my floral centerpieces. I have included both mothers as far as asking their opinions before finalizing things out of courtesy and respect for them. Everything was planned without any glitches. The trouble hit when I sat down with my mother and hubby-to-be to design table layout and seating assignments. We called the grooms mother to ask who she wished to sit with at her table (my fiance and I will be at a sweatheart table). She became defensive and felt like we were doing things without her. She then began emailing me her seating assignments, and subsequent corrections to my charting. I accomodated most of her requests, however, I wanted to mix both side's guests throughout the tables. She is being very persistent about all of her local friends (10) be seated together at one table (rather than 6 at one and 4 at another as I have it), and leave me with 4 other guests by themselves. I understand they have been friends for a long time, but they can see each other whenever they want. Also, she is saying it is proper etiquette for the parents to sit across the room from the bride and groom. So finally, my question is, am I being a controlling "bridezilla" by not honoring all of her seating requests? And is it proper etiquette to seat the parents in this manner? I would sincerely value any advice. [unsure]

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Bride,

Honestly, I don't know where she got that idea. It is kind of silly.

The couple creates the seating chart. Parents will either sit all together or at separate tables with their friends or family. You choose who sits where.

It may be best for your fiance to speak to his mother. Contributing to your wedding doesn't give either parent planning rights. You two have been very gracious to involve your parents as you have.

Best wishes,