Help
My boss is getting married this July. Actually, I work with both the boss and groom, and they are both my superiors. Most advice on this topic suggests giving a "thoughtful" gift. However, the invitation stated "no boxed gifts" and "no registry." It is an Indian-Western wedding - not sure if this is a tradition.
I assume this means I am supposed to give cash or a gift card, but it's a bit awkward to be giving money to my superiors, as they are both quite well off. I am not impoverished, but I certainly earn less. I also don't know what is the appropriate amount to give. Help!
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Wedding gift for boss
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Dear Caitlin,
This is highly improper. I teach business etiquette and this is huge no-no. For one, they shouldn't have invited you since it puts you in a difficult position, which you have noted (what to give--I have to give because they are my bosses). Plus, we never expect gifts or mention them on our invitations. And, is this a sly way to demand cash just because we are marrying?? Interesting. No box gifts? I would be tempted to just bring a gift unwrapped and hand it to them stating that I figured they were adverse to excess packaging--doing the green thing. Jeez.
You are not obligated to give cash even if they want it. There is no magic, perfect amount to give anyway, as you have already figured out. We could present the same amount of money to two different people and receive two different reactions. So, if you wish to attend, which you are not obligated to do so, give a gift you wish to give. It can be in a box. Just ship it to their home before the wedding.
Having said all of that, there are cultures where money is a key player at the wedding/reception. When a guest is not of that culture, it is usually understood that this person would not know what to do. If the couple is following some sort of ritual such as this, you might want to ask about it.
And, another alternative explanation for the reference in their invitations may be that they don't want gifts. That would be a stretch though.
Best wishes,
This is highly improper. I teach business etiquette and this is huge no-no. For one, they shouldn't have invited you since it puts you in a difficult position, which you have noted (what to give--I have to give because they are my bosses). Plus, we never expect gifts or mention them on our invitations. And, is this a sly way to demand cash just because we are marrying?? Interesting. No box gifts? I would be tempted to just bring a gift unwrapped and hand it to them stating that I figured they were adverse to excess packaging--doing the green thing. Jeez.
You are not obligated to give cash even if they want it. There is no magic, perfect amount to give anyway, as you have already figured out. We could present the same amount of money to two different people and receive two different reactions. So, if you wish to attend, which you are not obligated to do so, give a gift you wish to give. It can be in a box. Just ship it to their home before the wedding.
Having said all of that, there are cultures where money is a key player at the wedding/reception. When a guest is not of that culture, it is usually understood that this person would not know what to do. If the couple is following some sort of ritual such as this, you might want to ask about it.
And, another alternative explanation for the reference in their invitations may be that they don't want gifts. That would be a stretch though.
Best wishes,
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