[carly410]

We are having a small, immediate family only (parents and siblings) wedding in June. Both my fiance and I live in Arizona with no family in town, hence the small wedding. Grandparents as well as aunts and uncles know this and want an invitation 'just because', even though they have been firm in terms of not attending. In lieu of an invitation before, shouldn't they just receive an announcement after? My mother-in-law-to-be is insistant on inviting ALL family knowing full well they will not attend. Help! Thank you!

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Carly,

Only invite those you wish to attend. If you want to invite all of these family members, do even if you think they may not attend. But, don't feel pressured to send invitations if you don't want to. Some still believe that an invitation obligates the receiver to send a gift. So, some find the invitation a plea for gifts, especially when they have stated that they will not attend--fine line.

Your mother in law may be one of these people and she wants to make sure you two have plenty of gifts. It is a "mother thing".

Ask your fiance to speak to his mother and you two plan your wedding as you wish to plan.

Best wishes,