[canada]

I am the best man at my best friend's wedding and my wife is a bridesmaid. We have been friends with the bride and groom for the past 5 years and hang out almost once a week as a couple.

My wife told me yesterday that she recieved an email from the bride that she was attempting to sell 3 gift cards (to a lingerie store) she received from the shower to some of her girlfriends.

I called my best friend and told him that this was in very poor taste. He told me she couldn't find anything she liked from the store and wanted to use the cash to fund the wedding but would talk with her about it.

My wife got an email from my friend (the groom) and said that we upset the bride and that he wanted no more said about it.

Now me and my wife want nothing to do with the wedding and are questionning our friendship.

What to we do?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Canada,

Well, I'm upset too! Jeez. You two did everything right, especially when you tried to let them know how this would be perceived. Selling gifts?? Shower gifts are special anyway. After all, this means that those gifters would be giving the couple two gifts each just because the couple decided to marry. And, then she tried to sell them? I'm aghast.

But before you sign off on those two as friends, perhaps it is best to step back a bit. She may not realize how this appears and how hurtful her actions are. Unfortunately, we have a great many people around us who just do not know that their actions affect others and truly feel that they should be able to do as they wish regardless. We call these people the "entitled ones". Hopefully with a little time, she can see your side and all of you can get along well. But, it is your choice to back away or not. I also wouldn't want to be a part of an event that is used to take advantage of others.

Best wishes,