[mike2001]

My brother is getting married 2 hours away, he lives 15-20 minutes (tops, same town) from me & the rest of the family. He asked my oldest son (7) and me to be in the wedding. We have paid to reserve a cottage, plus both our suits, etc, let alone bachelor party, which is also 4 hours away. Our other sons (ages 6 & 3) are not invited to anything. My wife is extemly upset (I'm not thrilled either). While I understand it is "their day", every other out of town wedding we have gone to the kids have been invited to everything, including a Hindu wedding that lasted 2 days.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Mike,

You are right to be upset. But, they appear not to know any better.

If they invite a child from a family, all children in that family should be invited. And they were obligated to pay for your lodging as well.

This is one of the biggest reasons I advise couples not to include children in their weddings if they do not wish to invite any. Parents can be insulted when they see a child at the wedding and theirs wasn't good enough to be invited. Of course your situation is a bit different and much more hurtful. Unfortunately, it appears that they didn't think their plans though carefully enough.

Best wishes,

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I agree and, if you're hurt, maybe sitting your brother down and explaining why might help. Do so in a non-confrontational manner, though. And, you're not obligated to attend the bachelor party.

[mike2001]

I took your advice and talked to my brother. I told him we tried to find a sitter and couldn't so, either I bring the kids (all 3), or my son & I can't be in the wedding. I left it up to him to make the call.