[valboyer]

Hello Everyone,

I am having a destination wedding in Nov where no one is invited to. I will be having a reception two weeks later at home. I read this website everyday so I know that gifts are given for the wedding, not the reception.

I know that people will probably bring cards and gifts. I am not adversiting this because it's rude, but I know some of my friends and family may bring a gift, (they don't read this website as religously as I do!) Should I have a box at my guest book table for these such things?

Thank you,

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 15 July 2025 - 08:39 AM

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Valboyer,

Thank you so much for your wonderful compliment. It is heart warming to know that you read us.

We do advise that the wedding is the gift giving event and not the reception, because, basically it is. But, most of us realize that guests will want to give a gift anyway. Really, it is the most polite thing to do.

However, a box on any of the tables for receipt of cards wouldn't be a great idea. It might appear too much like a wishing well, which isn't viewed positively. Perhaps you could ask someone close to you to "man" the table and accept the cards for you. If there isn't a place for cards, your guests just may hand them to you. Then you can place them somewhere safe for later.

Best wishes,

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Having a box at the ready implies that you are expecting gifts and may make those not bringing a gift (though gifts really should be sent to the home of the bride before the wedding so they aren't lost or stolen) feel uncomfortable, especially at the guest book table which is a place all guests will visit or pass.

It's best to be prepared with a designated person who can be in charge of these items if received. Perhaps there is a secure location at your reception where your personal items are being stored? You can then accept a gift and quickly hand it off to your person to be put in the safe place.

Thank you for trusting us to provide you with your wedding etiquette advice.