[am2010]

My fiance's mother is a wonderful woman, and told us that she would like to pay for the rehearsal dinner. I thought that was very generous of her, considering the fact that she is an older woman with limited income. My fiance says we should turn down her offer to save her the money (we are also paying for the wedding ourselves.) What is the proper etiquette? I absolutely see his point and do not want her to spend more than she can, but I also do not want to make her feel badly or unappreciated by declining her offer. I know she wants to be able to contribute to the wedding in some way, especially because my fiance is her youngest child, and the last to get married. Please help!

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Your sensitivity and regard for the value of a dollar is refreshing. Kudos to the two of you!

If your groom really thinks his mother cannot afford to host a rehearsal dinner at any level (You know, this dinner can be done at home on a budget, in fact, it's very nice to have it at home sometimes since you have the privacy to connect with your guests and the freedom to allow the party to last as long, or short, as you like.) then perhaps he should have a private conversation with her to discuss the options and to be sure she can afford to do what she chooses. You both sound like loving, caring individuals and I'm sure he can find a sensitive way to broach the subject with his mother.

If she still wants to host, let her. Also come up with some other ways to include her in the planing and preparation to help her feel included without having to open her wallet. Maybe ask her to help address the invitations or go shopping with her for her dress.

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 07 October 2025 - 09:15 AM

[am2010]

Thanks for replying so quickly, and with your usual great advice! I will ask him if he would like to talk to her about it before making a decision about her offer. I think that is the best thing we can do to make sure everyone is happy with the outcome. Thanks again!