[tandempair]

We will be renewing our vows and celebrating 40 years of marriage. We would like to have something meaningful that will symbolize our continued unity. I read the post about the family unity candle, but it doesn't really fit our situation. this is not a second marriage for us, no stepchildren involved. My husband is blind, so he cannot light a candle on his own. (when our daughter got married we crooked our little fingers together, so his hand could follow mine as we lit the parents candle.) Kind of hard for him to "fudge" it on his own.
Thanks.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Wow - 40 years! That is certainly something to celebrate. Congratulations.

The family unity candle can be used in many different ways. It is not limited to weddings or second marriages.

There is the sand ceremony too, which can be manipulated for use at a wedding vow renewal. Perhaps your daughter could be involved in the service, even though she's grown, and help guide her father.

Here is a page with a list of different wedding ceremonies and vows.

Happy 40th!

[RevSusanna]

Congratulations on your 40 wedding anniversary! That is something to be proud of! As the moderator already said, it is certainly cause for celebration. This variation of the sharing of a wedding cup may work for you. Your husband will need only drink in this ritual, and you yourself may hand the cup to him. Upon the altar, you may have two goblets of wine (or grape juice). Your celebrant says: "These goblets (of wine) represent your individual selves--all that you are, and all that you have been." Your celebrant then pours some wine or grape juice (though not all the wine/grape juice) from your individual cups into a larger more beautiful wedding cup (a unity cup if you will). You are then instructed to drink from the larger cup. He/she then says, "This cup (pointing to the unity cup) represents your marriage, new and renewed, of yourselves yet greater than yourselves. Whatever sweetness the cup contains will be sweeter because you share it. Whatever bitterness it contains will be less bitter because you share it."

Blessings upon your vow renewal and for the years ahead!

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Reverend Susanna -

That is lovely. I hadn't heard of that ceremony until now. It sounds very similar to the sand ceremony, but with a unique twist. Does the ceremony have a name?

Thanks for your input.

[RevSusanna]

The sharing of a cup of wine at the wedding has roots in Celtic, Jewish, Japanese, Chinese, Greek and French traditions---as well as others. I adapted the words and ritual for this particular couple's needs, taking inspiration from the Scottish Quaich, Jewish tradition, the Unity Candle and Sand Ceremony. I also added my own words. Taking time honored traditions and making them relevant for your needs is something more and more couples are doing!