[pattijc]

My future Mother-in-Law wants her daughters as Bridesmaids in the wedding, she wants to have a very expensive wedding and my parents are willing to have a nice wedding for us, but my future Mother-in-Law thinks that my parents cannot afford to have a nice wedding for me and said that if she has to pay part then she gets to have say in who stands up with us and how the money will be spent. Is this correct and I am over reacting. My Parents are insulted.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Pattijc,

And the wedding is marrying who? Silly question, yes. But, it appears as if someone has forgotten this basic element.

It may be best if your fiance speaks to his mother about this. After all it is his mother.

We have very many posts concerning who controls the wedding planning. It may be best to read all of these posts. But beyond that, you two make all the decisions concerning your wedding. It really doesn't matter who pays. Parents are no longer financially responsible. You two are. Many parents still do not realize this and tend to want to control the situation if money changes hands. It may be best to graciously decline any contributions from her.

Also, the couple chooses their attendants based on their relationship with these people. It is the couple's choice, no one elses. However, it may be best to include the daughters if you feel they can blend in with your attendants (personality and age). It could help with your relationship with your fiance's mother.

Best wishes,