[jtaran]

My partner and I would both like to do something very simple. There are many factors to consider & I am feeling pretty overwhelmed so looking for some advice. I live in Seattle, WA but all of my family is on the east coast. His family is here. I think we both would like to do something quick and easy (like possibly a courthouse ceremony) but I still think it is important to do a celebration of some sort. Ideally the families could both be present for something but I also don't want to choose which coast to hold the celebration as I think this would lead to hurt feelings. Additionally, we are pretty focused on having a baby right now as we aren't getting any younger. So... again wanting to do something that can be planned relatively quickly. Any suggestions? I was thinking about getting married at the courthouse then having a party here and in NY but inviting everyone to both. How does this work though? Do I send something out saying we are already married, come help us celebrate? Do we ask for gifts? As I said...help!

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 28 February 2026 - 03:40 PM

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Jtaran,

First off, we never ask for gifts--never. Secondly, the reception is not a gift giving event. Thirdly, we have many posts about this same situation, so it is best to read them. However, it is perfectly appropriate to host more than one reception. It is, after all, just a party. You just might want to skip the more traditional reception elements for the second reception.

You would send a reception invitation to your guests. As long as your receptions are informal, you could mention both of them on the same invitation. If not, you would send separate invitations. These should be held within a couple of weeks of each other if you use one invitation though. There is no need to mention the wedding on this invitation, as it is obvious that you will be married by the date of the reception.

Best wishes,