[mog help]

I am the Mother of the Groom. A beautiful formal 250 person wedding has been planned. I offered to host the rehearsal dinner. (It is my only involvement).I received a guest list from the Bride & Groom of over 90 people. They want to invite the wedding party, family and all of the out of town guests. I was sent venues from the Bride that resemble a wedding. I was hoping for a casual fun intimate dinner. The wedding party plus immediate family amount to 19 people. How do I talk to the Bride and Groom?

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 04 March 2026 - 02:12 PM

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I feel for you, mom. Speak to your son and let him know that what his bride is asking for is over the top. See if you can get him to understand that it isn't anyone's responsibility to entertain that many out of town guests. Sometimes it's done if there are just a few, but the rehearsal dinner is supposed to be a small, intimate affair at which the bridal couple will mix with their nearest and dearest, thanking them for all they have done for their wedding.

If they don't care to allow you to host a proper rehearsal dinner perhaps you can suggest to your son they they host it themselves. Just let him know that it's not the sort of party you offered.

[Ohio Wedding Planner]

I am in absolute agreement with the previous post. It is not your duty to host an elaborate affair. The rehearsal dinner is typically held after the rehearsal ceremony in which all those involved in the ceremony come to the dinner.
I very much agree with the process of explaining to your son that you are more than willing to host the traditional rehearsal dinner and if they'd like to throw an over the top party with almost 100 guests, they are welcome to do that on their own, at their own cost, on their own schedule.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that they both understand and respect your decision.

[mog help]

I tried talking with my son. When it was to no avail, I offered him the money I set aside for the rehearsal dinner so they could do whatever they want. He refused and said we would work it out. I tried to explain what a rehearsal dinner was for and about...it didn't work. I offered up an intimate dinner first and then a gathering after for all 90 people. It did not work. I am beside myself. I do not know what else to do....

[Etiquette Now]

Perhaps informing them that this type of affair is frowned upon because it can appear as some sort of pre-wedding party, which is often a gift giving event (greedy and confusing). It also appears to be a pre-reception, which is not logical or proper. It could be very embarrassing for the to of them and the family, and very confusing to the guests.

I hope logic prevails here. [unsure]

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

He can't force you to host a party you obviously don't want to host. I would still tell him (nicely and calmly) that you do not want to host the sort of affair he wants and he can either allow you to host the party you planned or he can host (and pay for)it himself - period. Get him a copy of most any wedding planning book to show him that what he has in mind will overshadow his reception and is thought to be rude to the hosts of the wedding.

Good luck mom and hold your ground! Time for him to grow up.