[TXaggie08]

Both the groom and I are from and live in Texas. We asked my uncle, a Reverend in North Dakota, to officiate our wedding in Colorado, where both my fiance's parents and much of his extended family live. During the one brief conversation with my uncle over the phone, he said he would be honored to be our wedding officiant. Both he and my aunt were excited because Colorado is a lot closer to drive to than Texas. I mentioned we would be glad to help them cover travel expenses (i.e. gas costs), and he said that would be great. He didn't mention us paying an officiant fee. Are we expected to pay him a fee? Do you have any suggestions for how to approach him to discuss whether or not he expects us to pay him an officiant fee? Thanks!

-Curious Bride-

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 05 April 2025 - 08:53 AM

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Curious Bride,

Your uncle would probably marry you for free if you two are very close. But, we should all respect that even family need to be paid for doing their job, even when that job involves family. So perhaps you could ask him in private, in person, what his fee is. You are giving him the opportunity to tell you his intentions at that point--no more guessing.

Best wishes,

[Nancy Tucker]

I agree with Rebecca and also feel that the lodging should be paid for him as well. If your Uncle says you don't owe me anything, you should still provide some kind of gift to him, be it a gift card or some other form of gratitude.