Help
Hi,
4 years ago there was a HUGE religious fight between me and my family, as a result I left home, moved a thousand miles away and never stayed in touch with them..not any of them AT ALL.
I've met someone I love and intend to get married. His side of family and friends all live near him and get along fine. I've always been private about the reasons why I left and as much as i'm dreaming of my fairy wedding day, I'm so put off getting married for fear of the awkwardness that not having any member of my family come to the wedding. I've no best/childhood friend and the only friends I have, i've known for less than 6 months and even them they don't know about my circumstances.
I don't want people in the wedding feeling sorry for me for not having anyone to give me away or celebrate this day with me.
Apart from trying to convince me to try and get back in touch with them.... what else can I do/say to the guests? It's putting me off the whole idea of getting married just because of that.. :(
Please help!
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Not a single family member coming to wedding from bride's side
#1
strenght12 
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Posted 05 April 2025 - 01:34 AM
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Etiquette Now
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Posted 05 April 2025 - 09:16 AM
Dear Strenght,
Sometimes we just can't follow the status quo when we believe so strongly that it isn't right for us. And, it seems that this is what you experienced with your family. It is unfortunate that it divided you from them. But, it was enough to drive you away forever. So, that is in your past. I won't be the one to try to talk you into having a discussion with your family as this point. The time has to be right for that. And this doesn't seem the time for you now. So, since your family is your past, it is probably just best to focus on your future--your fiance and his family and friends.
No doubt people will ask about your family, asking when they will be visiting, when they will be playing their part in your wedding. So, you could tell them the truth, that you have completely different views of life than they do and thus don't talk. Or, you could avoid any type of explanation and just state that you aren't close to any of them. Most people won't press it especially since it will show in your face that it is a difficult situation for you. I don't think it will be pity really. But, that is just my guess.
Another option, of course, would be for you two to host a very small wedding. Fewer guests, fewer questions.
But in any case, all wedding guests would be your wedding guests. It doesn't matter if they were originally your fiance's family and friends. They are (or will be soon) yours as well.
Best wishes,
Sometimes we just can't follow the status quo when we believe so strongly that it isn't right for us. And, it seems that this is what you experienced with your family. It is unfortunate that it divided you from them. But, it was enough to drive you away forever. So, that is in your past. I won't be the one to try to talk you into having a discussion with your family as this point. The time has to be right for that. And this doesn't seem the time for you now. So, since your family is your past, it is probably just best to focus on your future--your fiance and his family and friends.
No doubt people will ask about your family, asking when they will be visiting, when they will be playing their part in your wedding. So, you could tell them the truth, that you have completely different views of life than they do and thus don't talk. Or, you could avoid any type of explanation and just state that you aren't close to any of them. Most people won't press it especially since it will show in your face that it is a difficult situation for you. I don't think it will be pity really. But, that is just my guess.
Another option, of course, would be for you two to host a very small wedding. Fewer guests, fewer questions.
But in any case, all wedding guests would be your wedding guests. It doesn't matter if they were originally your fiance's family and friends. They are (or will be soon) yours as well.
Best wishes,
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