[catmil]

Mother of the Groom here -

The kids are having the wedding in the brides home state. All of the groom's family will be traveling to attend the rehearsal/wedding.

Due to traveling expenses we are on a tight budget for the rehearsal dinner. The wedding party is what I would call fairly large - maid of honor, best man, 6 groomsmen/bridesmaid and 4 mini groomsmen/bridesmaids with a flower girl. The bride was raised by grandparents, and now has relationship with her parents who never married and have their own spouses. Obviously parents of the mini's will attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

I looked into renting a hotel or vacation home large enough to host an informal rehearsal party, a pizza place and some parks. Ultimately bride's aunt graciously offered to host dinner/bbq at their home. I accepted since what we wanted was an occasion for family to meet and visit casually.

I asked for bride's aunt's email/phone to start communicating with them, I haven't gotten it yet. I'd like to not sound knowledgeable when I talk with her about things. We have only $300-$500 budgeted to cover at least 40-50+ people. And I'd really like to keep it more towards the $300. Since I will be flying into town the evening before the rehearsal, I won't be able to shop for the food/drink. Frankly I feel funny sending money to someone I don't know, even though it such a blessing to have them shop and prepare things. I am so relieved, as I really didn't want to spent all my time after traveling across the country trying to organize this.

Am I being realistic in my budget? I worry that since it's bride's/families hometown the evening will grow above my budget and I will feel bad that they are doing all the prep/clean and it goes over what funds I have. I hear from the bride that her family loves to host parties but I worry I am excepting too much from the brides family.

Should I have declined the offer for bride's aunt to host in their home? Or is it ok to just express my gratitude and be clear on my budget and if it's obvious that it went over just know it's not a slam on what we could afford?

Thank you.

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 05 June 2025 - 09:30 AM

[catmil]

Also, how soon should I send the funds before the event? The wedding is the end of August.

Thank you.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Cathill,

It may be best to be very clear about your budget. Just inform the aunt that your budget is $300 and ask her when she would like for you to send it to her. She may want to start planning and preparing right now.

My only problem with all of this is that this is supposed to be a party for the bridal party and immediate family. So, if that is the case, your budget should be just fine. The out of town guests, minus you of course, would be best entertained at another event, like the reception.

Best wishes,