[TarynNic]

Dear Wedding Expert:

I am getting married in July. My fiance had a bone marrow transplant this March after being diagnosed with leukemia last year. Due to my fiance's current health status, we are delaying our reception until December (when it will be safe for him to be around groups larger than 5 people). Only our immediate families (parents and siblings) will be allowed to attend the ceremony this summer.

We are going to have a fairly large reception (+500 guests) of family, friends, neighbors etc. that will all be invited to the reception. Our invitation list will be identical to our announcement list/save the date list. Our community (family, friends, neighbors) are all very aware of my fiance's health situation.

We want to send out an announcement/save the date (in an unconventional combined form) to all of our guests this summer to announce our marriage and inform them of the December reception. I wanted to know if we would be okay to send out a save the date card that announces our marriage date and gives the delayed reception date? We want to include everyone in our happy news and make sure they know they will be invited to our reception. Would we be wrong in doing so?

Thank you very much for your help!

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 08 June 2025 - 12:41 PM

[Etiquette Now]

Dear TarynNic,

I'm sorry about your fiance's health and hope he is better with the treatment.

We have many posts about this. Please read them.

Announcements are sent after the wedding to those not invited to the wedding or reception. No wedding related correspondence should be sent before the wedding to those not invited to the wedding. This is viewed as very impolite, like saying the guest is not important enough to be invited. This is even true in this case. It could also be viewed as a plea for gifts, like, "Hey, don't forget that we are getting married and could use a few things." So, it is best to follow standard etiquette here.

Send save the dates after the wedding for the reception. It is best not (it's too much like an announcement) to mention the wedding as your guests will know that you two will be married by the date or are now. You could even state that the reception is belated. This way your guests won't expect a traditional reception in December.

Please remember that this is not a gift giving situation and no mention of gifts should be on the save the date or invitation.

Best wishes,

[Etiquette1]

Given your situation, I think it is just fine to send a Save the Date for your post wedding reception. Best of luck to you and your fiance on your wedding. I hope that his recovery will go very well so you can enjoy the wedding celebration of your dreams!