[bridesmominportland]

The wedding will take place 1 1/2 hours from NYC, where many guests live. Guests do not have cars. Would it be proper for bride and groom to set up private bus service to transport guests to and from venue, but have guests pay for their own transportation? How is this worded? How is it conveyed to affected guests?

Thank you for helping with this unusual dilemma!

[Nancy Tucker]

No it would not be polite to ask guests to pay for your arranged transportation. Either pay for their transportation on one large bus or do not address it and let them work out their own transportion needs. If you are willing to pay for transportation, you can add a formal note within the invitation stating that formal transportation will be provided and please reserve a seat so you can see how many will actually be riding.

[Etiquette Now]

I agree. This is one of those situations where you either provide (which means pay for) the transportation or you allow your guests to find transportation on their own.

[bridesmominportland]

Could the MOH set up the bus and write to bride and groom's circle of friends, as if she had the idea? The transportation has multiple purposes: Twenty-somethings living in NYC have no cars (because of tight budgets), no ability to pay for overnight accommodations at the venue (again because of tight budgets), and propensity to consume much alcohol during festivities.

Thanks for all ideas.

[Nancy Tucker]

You can do whatever you want to do. We give advice based on proper etiquette and respect for your guests. For my advice I would say let this issue go. The act of trying to make it look like someone else sets it up is wrong.

[bridesmominportland]

Thank you for being there! We needed your voice in this challenging situation.