[bridesmamma]

Groom is part of music ministry at our small church. The pastor has agreed to perform the ceremony and there are many people in the congregation that would like to share in this special day. Because finances are limited, we are only inviting close family and friends to the reception. We found a lovely country club/restaurant venue that offers a very affordable wedding/reception package that is within our budget. Logistically speaking, it will be very convenient for our out of town guests to only have to go to one location. The pastor would like us to have the ceremony at the church so the congregation can share this day with us, and we would like that, but the other venue is much nicer (our church is presently in a school building type setting). We were considering having the wedding and the reception at the country club venue (the pastor will perform the ceremony either place) and not inviting anyone from the church on that day. Then a week later, after church services, have a cake and punch reception for those at the church that would like to share in celebrating our marriage. Would this be appropriate?

[Nancy Tucker]

Unfortunately, sometimes we have to disappoint others in order to realize our objective. It sounds as though you are very happy with the arrangements and the preacher is the only one not happy. It would be wise for the two of you to sit down and talk to him and let him know that you have made the arrangements for the convenience and comfort of all your guests. Impress upon him your desire to stay within your budget and suggest the cake and punch after church service in a week or so afterward.

[Etiquette Now]

Great advice. You really do have to stay within your budget. And, you are doing everything "etiquette-ly" correct.